Pent up

I keep doing the Red Riding Hood thing.

(mom: don't wander into the wood!

Me: *finds herself in the wood* well fuck)

But I NEED to let out my extra energy! (and I can't see raised hands when I'd be up for good nice company so whatever)

I end up at night in the middle of the wood with weird noises conveniently drowned out by my blaring headphones. I love it.

It's getting kinda cold lately so I've been putting on my frog-beanie and it's so comfy! I've missed it during summer~

But I don't wander in the woods just because of pent up energy, I walk a lot when I need to thing or sort out stuff. I daydream a lot while walking and play random scenarios in my head. They're usually epic magical-girl battles or just fights (I walk faster and really helps with pent up emotions and stuff I can't process yet). Usually I end up impressing my crush and that's pretty dumb but hey, I can dream!!

Today I feel like I found out some weird patterns that usually make me really upset.

Now I should really work on it to try and overcome it. I've got the feeling I still miss something about it but I'll get it right at some point and it'll all be ok.

For now I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

Haru loves you.

Young and Beautiful

Wanna know what's werid?

Being sick.

Ok, maybe being sick isn't weird, it just sucks but lately when I'm sick it feels pretty weird. Thank's God it's not something that happens often.

But you know how it is, you feel like crap and do your best not to throw up and just end up in your bed spending your day on the internet and stuff. While people are doing actual things because their guts are collaborating to have a normal life.

I guess that's why nobody's ever online when I'm sick, because they're fine and living. At school or work. Doing healty human things.

The point is that I've got nobody to talk to and it's so BORING.

So boring that after doing everything that I could possibly do I still have a lot of time left to think. And you know that thinking never leads to a happy ending. Thinking just pulls all that forgotten crap to the bright sunlinght and I swear if I forgot about it I had a good reason. Thinking doesn't care about reasons tho.

So besides being sick I am now sad as well.

Actually I made myself sad, then I tried to help someone and ended up even sadder. Then I decided that some good old OTP would help me but RiRen just made me even more sad.

SAD.

I didn't think that something called YOUNG and BEAUTIFUL could turn me into this upset... thing... I am right now. And yet, here I am.

It is indeed beautiful, but come on, thisa fandom already has enough angst, why would we go and make it this painful??

I've got no answer and still I am SAD.

Haru loves you tho